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Good – Write It Publicly. Bad – Say it Privately!

Immaturity comes in all ages. Immaturity is a lack of skills demonstrating low self esteem and inability to create healthy relationships with others. One sign of immaturity; when there is a personal offense against another, its written down and shared with others, an explosive device created without concern for its destructive force.

Many of us have received toxic letters stating how unworthy we are and how much we have offended another. These letters are nothing more than a diatribe from an immature person who only wish their self-serving world view is known by all, no reply necessary. They share the communication with others, or on social media, hoping to gather agreement and likes to their narcissistic point of view . . . a very destructive cycle of internalized and false validation.

I have seen this behavior parent to child, parent to parent (in front of the children), spouse to spouse, church member to church member (as a prayer request for the fallen), bosses to co-workers and business colleagues to their peers. Immaturity is not exclusive chronologically or negated through economic status.

A mature person, when feeling the need to express a hurt or offense, will talk directly to another, expressing their feelings, actions perceived as an errant message, a desire to return to a harmonious relationship. This is a private dialog, an exchange of information with the intent each person’s point of view is valued and acknowledged.

Something good? Write it down so they read it over and over. Share it with others to celebrate their value and worth. Something not so good? Say it directly and only to that person for mutual understanding and the creation of a future that bring positive results.

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