Some who have read Thinking Out Loud; Uncovering an Extraordinary Life have mentioned the vehemence of the chapter entitled “Dear Bastard.” They said it seemed out of place with the tenderness and beauty of the chapters that preceded and followed. My editor suggested I take it out of the manuscript. I chose to keep it.
To feel deeply is not deciding what to feel deeply about. I might say, if I want to feel deeply about the goodness of life, love, my spouse, children and friends, then I have no choice but to feel deeply about the ugliness of other aspects of the human existence; abuse, hypocrisy, and judgement. The range of my emotion are the same for each, just different directions.
“Dear Bastard” is my deeply felt horror experiencing disloyalty. I was taught the pain of disloyalty through many early experiences. I have lived a life of disloyalty causing pain in others. Becoming aware of how I learned this horrible trait and the effects of disloyalty, I needed to unlearn and relearn what loyalty means, how it is demonstrated and be vigilant in its application.
To love deeply, I hate deeply.
What do you feel deeply about, enough to hate, enough to love?