Fear

Dear Grandson, 

In your journey, you will be faced with an awkward question, “why did I do that?”  You will be bewildered by your decision to say or do something that in retrospect may appear to have been irrational, insensitive or outright stupid. 

In many cases, the “why” will be answered by acknowledging two of the most common fears we must all overcome;  the fear of not being good enough, which creates fear of the future.  And the fear of rejection, which reveals unresolved guilt from the past.  But there is no future without acknowledging the past, whether it’s resolved or accepted.  And unacknowledged fears become predictable, thus we become predictable and vulnerable to those who need and desire to use us.

It will be these fears that end up controlling our thoughts and feelings and being recognized by those who wish to manipulate us will result in decisions we would never have made on our own if we had been given the time to evaluate “why am I doing this?”  But manipulators won’t give you time to evaluate your alternatives to make a rational decision that is healthy and right. That could result in – GASP – you thinking for yourself!  Oh no, everything must be done RIGHT NOW!  You may not ask, “why?”  You may not consider facts and historical experiences.  Manipulators will TELL you how to interpret your past so they can control your present and future.  It all becomes predictable, as they feed on your fears, you are now controllable and manageable.  

You have become their slave to their purposes, setting aside your own personal values and ideals.  We have become a disposable society; throw away a paper dish, delete the email, block the uncomfortable thoughts, “ghost” other human beings, even your own family, which is the ultimate denial of reality as they are indeed not dead, but very much alive, feeling, and desiring everything you do; connection, love, and purpose.  Our nemesis is in failing to accept that we are in fact, enough and significant, thus not afraid of the future, and I can accept others, even as I will accept myself without the baggage of false guilt.

You, my grandson, are valued and loved, not because I, and many others, value and love you.  But because you are valuable to yourself.  You have purpose.  You have ideals for a better future that is ever expanding, even as you recognize the efforts of some to deplete and diminish who you are becoming.  As Odysseus helped his fellow sailors not to listen to the manipulators that would lead them astray and had himself tied to the mast of his ship heading home so as not to to be tempted to believe lies that appealed to his fears, so too your journey will require strength and courage of conviction.  Not from others, but from your own well throughout and deeply held values and ideals.  And all through this journey, never forget – you are never alone.

Grandpa Steve